Count down

I had coffee after work with my new friend Jacqueline Bos. She is pretty awesome. Our conversation ranged from her recent dive back into the world of freelance, In-house gardens, and our non-meeting at North’s “Evening of intense excruciating awkwardness”…it was fun. We also talked about birthdays.

A couple days from now, I start my 30th revolution around the sun (making me 29 years old). I haven’t really ever voluntarily celebrated my birthday as I don’t find it to be really a special day. Thousands upon thousands of people are born every day all a result of an orgasm. This task of reproduction doesn’t impress me. Condom leakage…horray! No, but seriously. I would be more apt to celebrate if I were a miricle baby…say, still born and miraculously come back to. I know that is really graphic, but I can’t bring myself to apologise. You get the point. My co-workers are up my ass to provide them with my birthday. I told them it already passed. If they were resourcful, they would know how easy it actually is to find out a birthday. It isn’t the sentiment that bothers me; it is the forced sentiment that boils my noodle.

I still respect those that like to celebrate their ‘special day’. Hell, I even celebrate with them. Maybe that is what I should think about it? That it is my specail day? I don’t know. When I was about 6-7 years old, my mom threw this crappy birthday party and had to convince the parents of kids at school to come and be a part. It , like most things in my life, was forced and awkward. Those sort of celebrations sans what my dad to make them special, were typically events surrounding my mom’s lust for control and making sure she was the center of attention. No one could have their day while she was around. I guess I never really let myself have my day. Do I want my day? I like to think everyday that I succeed in my carreer or anyday that I feel good about myself is my day. That can be good enough can’t it? I think so.

Lesa is making me ginger cupcakes for the day. That was the only thing I requested. It will be wonderful to eat them.