A moment of your time, por favor?

Today for lunch I was going to go to Red Coach here in the wonderful city of  Portland, Oregon. As I was leaving with the group, Randall and I decided to ditch the crew and do our own thing. We wound up at the food carts on SW 5th and Oak. We hadn’t been there in a while so a few things had changed. As we checked out the new digs to be had we came across the old Matlock’s cart now called “Brunch Box”.

I don’ t mind telling you that this might be my second favorite cart (second to Whole Bowl over at the Alder Carts). The menu consisted of everything from a spam breakfast sandwich to an angus beef burger with toppings never ending–a KIDS menu on the right side has “Cheeseasaurus”-grilled cheese cut into the shape of a dinosaur, and many other wonderful selections at very good cart prices 2-5 dollars.

I decided to go with the “You Can Has Cheeseburger”. The description read-Burger, tomatoes, onions, lettuce between 2 texas toast grilled cheese…?…Hmm…”Why not?”…Burger with cheese on texas toast-patty melt right?…not exactly.

If you read that carefully as I thought I did, you’ll notice that the grilled cheese is after the texas toast. I read this as “With Cheese”.


That, my friends, is a burger in between 2 grilled cheeses. What stoner came up with this? Note the gloss. I was very reluctant to try it as I could feel my heart throbbing with cheesy angst. I was in such disbelief that this sandwich could possibly exist on this plane of reality that I needed to document it for posterity.

This was amazing and vile at the same time. But at the end, I was sad it was over. I hoped for one more pocket of gooey cheese to burst in my mouth like a …well…like cheese does. Brunch Box, Portland, Oregon…holy shit.