I sat on the porch tonight after a quick trek to 7-11 for some tea and M&Ms. As I drank my tea I was thinking about Metropol in Pittsburgh. Every Thursday night I would go there, dance until my legs felt like they were going to fall off, and stumble home alone. I’d stop at the Shell Station for a treat of a hot dog, green tea, and a dough nut of some sort. It was great. Something happened in between the ages of 22 and now that has left me almost completely paralyzed when it comes to going out to enjoy an evening at a club. It could be age, it could be the music, it could be the scene. I don’t know.
I realize that I am slowly becoming that “guy on the porch”. I just sit there and watch traffic. Like a dog. In a wheelchair.
I decided to do an experiment tonight and force myself to go meet some people and try and have a good time. The outcome echoed that of my experience in Vegas at the party for work. I nursed my phone for lack of a drink. I met up with this awesome girl Ashley (@savvygrl) as she invited me out for a birthday party at Report Lounge. Despite my socially horrified visage, I was having a great time, be it as long as I could constantly nervously tweet about how strange I felt to be off the couch and around other people. Ginger ale and Red Bull for me. At the point I met Ashley after shying away from directly introducing myself, I retreated to an outside bench to continue my digital rant next to a parking barrel.
I felt bad that Ashley kept chasing me down to pull me in. I was giving it the best effort I could without completely melting down. What people don’t seem to understand is that it isn’t about the place or the people or the music. It is about the experience. I am going to continue to try and go out more in the coming weeks to see if I can start to tear down the inhibitions I’ve apparently built for myself.
Here’s to crazy!