Gray Daze…

“Production of melatonin by the pineal gland is inhibited by light and permitted by darkness. For this reason melatonin has been called “the hormone of darkness” and its onset each evening is called the Dim-Light Melatonin Onset (DLMO). Secretion of melatonin as well as its level in the blood, peaks in the middle of the night, and gradually falls during the second half of the night, with normal variations in timing according to an individuals chronotype.

Until recent history, humans in temperate climates were exposed to only about six hours of daylight in the winter. In the modern world, artificial lighting reduces darkness exposure to typically eight or fewer hours per day all year round. Even low light levels inhibit melatonin production to some extent, but over-illumination can create significant reduction in melatonin production. Since it is principally blue light that suppresses melatonin,[28] wearing glasses that block blue light[29] in the hours before bedtime may avoid melatonin loss. Use of blue-blocking goggles the last hours before bedtime has also been advised for people who need to adjust to an earlier bedtime, as melatonin promotes sleepiness.”…Wikipedia.

It isn’t depression, just sleepiness. My inherent need to hibernate offset by my never ending need to create, dream, philosophize, and eat poorly.  I’ve recently began several personal projects. Mostly involving illustrating, concepting, and thinking…lots of thinking.

I feel like these last couple weeks I’ve spent floating. My head is full. Analyzing, critiquing, obsessing. Obsessing mostly about drawing; specifically, the act of drawing. I was in a great routine of drawing fun doodles, robots, and dreamscapes. It has become a painful truth that the wave has passed and my sense of mediocrity has become re-instilled. If you have any magic ju-ju you can send my way, please do.

Rachel is good people. I sat and talked with her for an hour on subject ranging from tactile miniature mouth kittens to signing up for adult gymnastics to lucid dreams. Fun stuff. Don, iLan, and I have begun noodling around with some game design. It will give those damn robots I started working on a little more context. That makes me both happy and sweaty.

Also- I bought some X-acto blades today. I am thinking of doing some art with construction paper, LEDs, and little 5×5 canvases. Probably robots.

This week Brie died. For those not in the know, she was 1 of four sugar gliders that Lesa and I care for. She was the most social of the bunch, and by that measure, the one that we enjoyed the most. It was really hard to find her in the corner of the cage. I held her and sat on the floor of my kitchen crying at 630 in the morning before waking up Lesa with the bad news. I buried her under a cherry blossom tree in the front of the condo.  I miss her a lot, but am very glad that she isn’t suffering anymore. I am happy to have known her.

Thanksgiving was great. iLan and Vanessa came down. We made almost the perfect amount of food with little leftovers. I made cranberry sauce and diffused the myth that there is something overly complicated in its creation. Tasty stuff.

I am distracted by the fact that I am going to end this entry and run down stairs to watch Dexter. That thrills me.

Later taters.

~G