Swift Lounge Portland Review

By December 30, 2009April 21st, 2011One Comment

Tonight, after the downfall of chaos (Portlandese to English translation; snow),  Lesa and I decided to go to the lounge formally known as Colosso. It now goes by “Swift”.

The mild lighting and Flaming Lips was a welcome shelter from the chilly outdoors. The smell of the smoke was still lightly permeated through the walls from when it was smoke friendly establishment. The modern prints of Dizzy Gillespie, Willie Nelson, and Bjork were a far cry from low hung chalk drawings and the Spanish temperament I had known before. Lesa and I sat in the back of the lounge against a pretty cushy bench and waited for our friends to arrive. After scanning the menu and ordering a drink, the friends sat down and we made our choices. I was reminded by, whom I assume was the owner, that this was NOT Colosso. This was prompted by my disappointed sighs while asking for clams…a guy has to try yeah?…8)

Bjork Print

Round the table we went. I ordered Herb Grilled Calamari with a side of fries and some kimchi. Rebecca had the Roast Chicken Breast. Constantine, the Smoked Tomato Strozzapreti. Adam, the Lomito. Last, but not least, Lesa ordered the Swift Burger. Meanwhile I had finished my Coke. I guess I was pretty thirsty last night as I had about 4 of them. Good mix. Lesa had ordered the Sweet Tea Vodka which was served with a clove infused slice of lemon; served hot.


Swift Lounge Menu

When the meals arrived, I took inventory of the plating almost immediately. Adam and Lesa’s sandwiches were almost immediately wetting the plate as the buns weren’t grilled. The Swift Burger was an intimidating monolith of bun and meat. The Memphis relish was, as Lesa put it, “very tangy”. It scored 6.5/10 based on taste and experience.

Swift Burger

Adam had similar issues with “juicing” on the plate for the Lomito. Ranked 5/10 based on taste and experience.


Constantine was happy with the music, but stated that it was a little loud. His food was not to his satisfaction, however he scored it 6/10 based on taste and experience.

Smoked Tomato Strozzapreti

Rebecca was absolutely enthralled with the Roast Chicken Breast. Score of 9/10 based on taste and experience…apparently the skin is really tasty.

Roast Chicken Breast

I enjoyed marvelled at the flavor dance party that occurred in my mouth when I tried the Calamari. 8/10 based on dance party in mouth. The kimchi was close to what I imagine eating an aborted fetus might taste like cold. I can’t recommend it. I think it was a matter of eating cold with hot (Kimchi/Calamari) that made it taste so egregiously horrible. The fries were super tasty though.

Calamari, Fries, Kimchi

Overall, after everything is said and done, I’d recommend this place as an awesome place to at least try. It is a little hit or miss, but I can say with full confidence that the Calamari is spot on. Overall score 7/10 based on experience, cleanliness, tasty dance party, and cushy welcome cave out of the snow. I can’t wait to try the place in the summer–I bet the burger will go PERFECT with a nice calm evening of jazz. You can check out the complete menu on their website –




One Comment

  • Gabriel says:

    Thanks Burt!

    I’m glad the formatting works on your sidekick. I’ve been curious about the formatting output. My ipod cuts off most of the back graphic…but hey at least the content is there…;)


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